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For Bereaved Parents

Many bereaved parents feel very alone. However, you are not alone. We have many books written by bereaved parents for bereaved parents. We hope you find some comfort and some peace in their stories.

My First Christmas by Cathie Gray. If you have ever loss a loved one or know someone that has, you will need this book in your library. With  chapters like: A Quest For A New Normal,

A New Normal for Family and Friends, Men Hurt Too, and most importantly S.O.S. Saving Our Surviving-children, this is a powerfully packed wealth of information that the grieving

should not be found without. Your brokenhearted sorrow-filled individuals will now have a template of consolation and comfort designed to ease their anguish.

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by Anne McCracken and Mary Semel

A remarkable collection of poetry, fiction, and essays compiled by a journalist and a social worker, both of whom have lost a child, this bestselling compilation gets to the heart of this hardest of trials.

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A beautifully written book for all mother’s whose child has died. Angela writes from the heart and lets mother’s know that they are not alone in this battle. Every page is filled with support, love and kindness. The illustrations and words in this book make it a must-have for all grieving mothers.

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A Father’s Story of Grief and Hope by Ted L. Wampler

The sudden, violent death of Mary Lee Wampler Hitch shattered the lives of her family. Mary Lee (wife, mother, daughter, sibling, teacher, and so much more) was killed when she lost control of her car on a rainy fall evening in 1995.  The author of Will Our Tears Forever Flow and Mary Lee’s father, Ted Wampler, takes us through his agonizing journey of grief–shock, denial, confusion, anger, guilt, depression, turning point and restoration.  This story is so powerful because the honesty, emotion, and healing process is laid bare in straight, well-written plain talk.  Will Our Tears Forever Flow will help anyone, in the midst of grief, understand and come to grips with their feelings.  It will also help all of us understand that grief is just around the corner–a phone call away from changing our lives forever.

“We did not have any choice in what happened to us, but we do have a choice in how we use the experience” – Ted L. Wampler

ISBN10: 1-882194-72-1

ISBN13: 978-1-882194-72-8

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By Elizabeth Mehren

After Elizabeth Mehren lost her daughter, she set out to write the book she most needed: one that would offer solace, support, and inspiration.  Telling her own story and the stories of other bereaved parents–contemporary and historical–she discovered that this worst grief of all never ends, but that if you’re open to it, it can transform itself.  Above all, it is a journey. This book is both a guide and a meditation.  The author takes us through the process of grieving, from the effects of a child’s death on the parents’ marriage to what to say when someone asks, “Do you have children?”  This book also offers valuable advice for the friends and relatives of bereaved parents.   “After the Darkest Hour answers the most important question a bereaved parent asks: ‘Will I ever get over it?’  And the answer is yes and no.  No, you will never be the same person you were before.  But yes, you do reach the point where remembering does not overwhelm you as it did in the beginning.  You survive to see the day when you can love and laugh and enjoy the sunshine without the feeling that you are betraying your child by doing so.  We heal, but we remember, and living with the memory is part of the healing” – From the Foreword by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, Author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People.

Author Information: Elizabeth Mehren is the mother of Emily Eaton Butterfield, who died on May 17, 1988, and Sam Butterfield, who was born in 1990.  A journalist and the author of Born Too Soon, she lives in the Boston area with her husband, Fox Butterfield.

ISBN10: 0-684-81170-7 ISBN13: 978-0-684-81170-3

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Is there life after death? Do you live after someone’s death? Both of you can, the griever and the deceased. This book will demonstrate that life is eternal and you can choose life after the death of a loved one. Healing and grief journeys will be as distinct as individuals. Death does not end connections with our loved ones. You can choose life after the death of a loved one and learn to live differently.

ISBN: 978-0-595-42864-9

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Artful Grief is a decade long study of loss by an art therapist, in the aftermath of her daughter’s suicide. On October 11, 2001, Sharon received a phone call in the middle of the night from the New York City Police Department telling her that her seventeen year old daughter Kristin, had “fallen” from the roof of her college dormitory. So began her journey into the labyrinth of unspeakable grief. As the first year drew to a close she found no comfort in traditional therapy, and no solace in spoken or written words. In surrender to her inner art therapist’s guidance, she began to create collages. She cut and tore images out of magazines and glued them on various size paper. The paper was a safe and sacred container, receptive to the fullness of emotion, story and paradox. Over time there was transformation and healing. Artful Grief A creative road map through violent dying and grief. A dose of “soul medicine” for survivors. A way to retrieve the pieces of a shattered life, with paper, scissors and glue. A resourceful tool for those suffering with complicated grief and/or PTSD. A place for the unspeakable to be seen and heard. A process to quiet the mind and open the heart. A visual experience of trauma images as illustrations of hope. A sample of prophetic dreams and meditations that are illuminating. A heartfelt sharing of “intimate secrets” for understanding and compassion. A surprising “grief gift” that is inspiring.

ISBN: 9781452568010

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Practical, caring tips for friends, family and caregivers

4-page handout

also available in Spanish

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Carol Barkin, Audrey Cohen, Lorenza Colletti, Barbara Eisenberg, Barbara J. Goldstein, Madelaine (Maddy) Perri Kasden, Phyllis Levine, Ariella Long, and Rita Volpe, as told to Ellen Mitchell

revised edition - with a brand-new chapter written by young adults who lost their siblings

The death of a child is that unimaginable loss no parent ever expects to face. Only those who have lived through it themselves can fully comprehend it.  In Beyond Tears, nine mothers whose children died as young adults lend comfort and direction to other bereaved parents in a chorus of supportive voices.  They candidly share what to expect in the first year and beyond: Once-harmonious relationships can become strained. There is a new definition of what one considers “normal.” The question “How many children do you have?” can be devastating. Mothers and Fathers may grieve and cope differently. Surviving siblings grieve and suffer as well. There simply is no answer to the question “Why?.” The act of sharing in itself is cathartic, and because these mothers lost their children more than seven years ago, they are in a unique position to provide perspective on what newly bereaved parents can expect to feel.  There comes a time when a grieving parent wonders if the cloud will ever lift and life will ever return to normal.  The mothers of Beyond Tears reassure you that the clouds do lessen with time and that you do find a way to survive.  Life will be forever changed, but you can learn to live and even laugh again.

ISBN10: 0-312-54519-3 ISBN13: 978-0-312-54519-2

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By Frances Wohlenhaus-Munday

Messages of hope and healing from a bereaved mother’s heart

This book is a testament to a grieving mother who chose to pick the flowers on her journey, and share them with us. Fran’s symbols of butterflies, angels, and roses offers comfort to those who mourn. “They are over there,” Granny would say – even from beyond the grave.  Granny knew the importance of remembering.  Those you love are just as close as a memory away.  My Granny said.  Now that I know I have a right to be sad, I know I have that same right to be happy again. There in the circle of family and friends I found singing and dancing like it should have been all these years. It’s the sweet memories that matter.  It is true, I can make a difference in someone else’s life. A flood of beautiful memories washed over me, reminding me of my children when they were that age and how excited they were when they found a beautiful seashell.  Strangers?  Special visits?  Hugs from Heaven?  Angels on the beach?  All are mine to have whenever I remember Marlys.

Author Information: Fran Wohlenhaus-Munday is a bereaved mother whose daughter, Marlys Ann Wohlenhaus was murdered in 1979.  Fran has worked since then to bring justice for her daughter and to find healing.  She has been active in bereavement work for more than twenty years and has written this book to share her healing experience with others.  Her motto is: Reach Out In Peace.

ISBN10: 1-879535-21-1 ISBN13: 978-1-879535-21-3

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by Joy and Marv Johnson -- A Centering Corporation Resource

also available in Spanish

Living after the death of a child is not done according to a fixed pattern of emotions.  The various feelings and experiences are more like changes in weather.  About the time you believe the storm has passed, you find it returning to stir you again.  Some parents have described their grief as coming in waves.  Just when you least expect it, you are struck by the wave and carried along with it.  Grief is something you integrate into your life.  You don’t “get through it” or “get over it.”  You make it a part of you, just as your child will always be a part of you and never forgotten.

ISBN10: 1-56123-029-4 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-029-7

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Edited by Brad Stetson

Choosing to Survive: Loved Ones of Murder Victims Tell Their Stories reveals in bracing psychological and emotional terms what murder leaves behind. The life-changing grief and staggering personal pain experienced by the loved ones of murder victims is unflinchingly portrayed in this book’s personal essays and interviews, intimate recollections which serve as a sobering and realistic counterpoint to the trivialization and commercialization of murder in American media and popular culture.

The focus throughout the book is on the survival of bereaved parents and other loved ones, and on the heroic choices these anguished people have made to live on in their lives, in the presence of unresolved grief and in some instances unresolved legal cases. Demonstrating the empowering nature of storytelling and personal narrative exposition, this is a book that will press home to the reader the colossal devastation that the murder of a loved one brings to a family. The unique world between these covers is one of searing pain, but also one of love unvanquished. Choosing to Survive conveys the precious value of life, the horror of homicide, and the power of the human spirit.

“As I read Choosing to Survive, I remembered the murder of my son Aaron–but more than that, I was reminded of the strength, faith, goodness and unity in the stories of we who have survived the evil of homicide. I am grateful for this beautiful book and highly recommend it.”

—Kathleen O’Hara, M. A., LPC, author of A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the Violent Death of Someone You Love

“Losing someone you love is difficult. What can be even more difficult is living a life without them. In Choosing to Survive: Loved Ones of Murder Victims Tell Their Stories, Brad Stetson takes the reader on a journey no one wants to remember, but no one who has experienced it can forget. Sharing stories of anger, disbelief, and searching for justice, we see these survivors show strength, determination, and a desire to honor their loved ones in ways that would surely make their loved ones proud. As a mother of a murdered son, I empathized with those seeking justice. As a recovered survivor, I have become a licensed counselor helping others experiencing loss and grief. Not just a book for those who have experienced the murder of a loved one, Choosing to Survive can help readers become aware and gain understanding of an unthinkable event.”

—Mary Jane Cronin, M. S., LMHC, author of November Mourning and Writing Through Your Grief

ISBN: 978-1-56123-269-7

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by Sandy Fox

Best Books Award Finalist - USA Book News

A guide to coping and informational skills for bereaved parents, family members, friends, therapists, and grief related organizations.

This book will help the newly bereaved as well as the seasoned griever find their way through the darkness and into the light again to a life full of happiness and new meaning. • Learn a variety of coping and informational skills to help any bereaved parent as they move through the grief process. • Read up to 80 articles dealing with topics such as anger, journaling, taking care of yourself, making a marriage work, childless issues, preserving a child’s memory, grief triggers, confronting negative statements, workplace grief, signs from our children, the importance of rituals and many more. • Identify how to get through the various holidays. • Read 10 inspirational stories that let you see how others cope. • Go through grief book descriptions and purchase information. • Delve into the abundant resource section listing many general and specific support groups, web sites and chat rooms Learning to rebuild your life with purpose is what all bereaved parents strive to attain. Using the ideas from those who have been there and readjusting them to fit your own situation can give you the practical and emotional support needed.

ISBN10:1-4502-3094-6 ISBN13: 978-1-4502-3094-0

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A Centering Corporation Resource

This is a support group in book form.  It is a collection of letters from bereaved parents to bereaved parents with other helpful information.  Some of the people who wrote are Sauni Wood, Susan Evans, Karen Fulcher, Martha Clark, Marie Teague, Denise Gleason, Marion Cohen, Darcie Sims, Marilyn Gryte, Sherokee Ilse, Erma Bombeck, Janice Harris Lord, Sister Jane Marie Lamb, Martha Eise, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Earl Grollman, Dean Koontz and Joseph Wambaugh.

Each page will tell you what other bereaved parents and siblings went through and how you can cope.  It is filled with compassion and love.

ISBN10: 1-56123-033-2 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-033-4

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by Marie Levine

After several years of writing a regular column about the despair, anger and confusion she felt after the death of her only child, Marie weaves the story of her own bereavement into a collection of essays, poems and writings that chronicle her own surviving mother’s journey.

“FIRST YOU DIE chronicles a mother’s harrowing and painful journey after the death of her only child and the daily steps of courage and strength it took to begin to live again and realize the incredible healing gift her son left behind.  It is a must read for any parent who has ever lost a part of their soul.” – James Van Praagh, Author of Talking to Heaven

“Clearly a significant addition to the literature of bereavement, particularly for parents whose children have died.  It is very well done and strikes a chord even with those of us who do not share the experience of that most painful loss.” – Michael Wilt, Augsburg Books

“Such deep, unfathomable grief makes poets of us all.  Only the quietly written word wrenched from the depths of the soul, comes close to describing the pain.  We the grieving translate the keening cries and the desperate screams of disbelief into the poetry that consoles us.” – Marie Levine

ISBN10: 1-59457-052-3 ISBN13: 978-1-59457-052-0

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A Centering Corporation Resource by Margaret H. Gerner

Original Illustrations by Glenda Dietrich

Grief is the normal reaction to a loss.  Actually, we experience grief throughout our lives.  A pet dies.  A friend moves away.  Our children go off to college.  We lose a job.  We grieve these losses, but we don’t always realize that’s what we are doing.  With a grandchild’s death, we face one of life’s most painful griefs.

ISBN10: 1-56123-002-2 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-002-0

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A Centering Corporation Resource by Maribeth Wilder Doerr

When my first son was a stillborn, my husband and I traveled very different paths in our grief process, both of us alone, uncommunicative, afraid.  No one explained to us that we would embark upon a long journey of sadness.  In fact, we were not even told it was normal to grieve, and it certainly did not occur to us that we would each handle our loss very differently. Grief is a long, hard road.  I hope that in reading this book you will find the strength to assign your marriage the highest priority and become closer in the process.

ISBN10: 1-56123-053-7 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-053-2

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by Ann Goffe

The Power of Love … And the Possibility of Happy Endings

Daniel was a charismatic bundle of walking contradictions. Socially anxious, widely popular, he lived with the sensitivity of an angel, and the self-destructiveness of a demon. By his early teenage years he had been diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders, ADD and alcohol dependency. By his late teens he was a high school dropout and an opiate addict. At the same time he was beloved and revered by his community of peers. To the world he bore all the trappings of failure. But to his close knit, far-flung friends he was a star and a legend; an irresistible, unforgettable, irreplaceable friend. Daniel died at age 23 from a drug overdose. For the Love of Daniel is an account of his life-a roller coaster ride of sadness and joy, heartache and solace, laughter, tears, tumult and rest. It is also a careful account of Daniel’s after life, and the chain of extraordinary events that moved the hearts and consciousness of those who grieved him. Most of the book is a love story, Daniel’s testament to the unalterable immense power of love, which offers even ultimate human tragedies a softer landing, the possibility of a happy ending.

ISBN13: 978-0-9888319-7-1

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by Emily R. Long

Dear Fathers,

This book is for you. It is written by fathers of loss for fathers of loss. It has been my honor to collect these letters from fathers from around the world. These fathers came together to contribute to this book and offer their words, their support, and their understanding to other fathers like you – fathers grieving and missing their precious children.

It has been apparent to me the lack of resources and support specifically for fathers of loss. Too often it seems that all the focus, attention, and care is directed toward mothers of loss and that fathers can be forgotten and disregarded.

You are not forgotten. A father’s love is an irreplaceable gift and your children have been blessed with this gift. You deserve all the support, care, and love in the world as you learn to live with this loss.

My hope is that this book can offer some of that support and care and love – even if only in a small way. I hope that it can help bring fathers together to lean on each other and to support each other in a way that feels nurturing and beneficial and comforting.

Most of all, I want you to know that you are not alone. If you feel forgotten, if you feel lost, if you feel alone – I hope that this book will bring you a sense of acknowledgement, recognition, and not-alone-ness.

You are an amazing father. Your children are so very lucky to have you as their dad.

xoxo,

Emily

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A Centering Corporation Resource by Sara Rich Wheeler and Margaret Pike

Helps with funeral planning, practical issues, deaths of all ages of children, men and women’s grief, phases of mourning, caring for yourself and unfinished business. “It doesn’t matter if your child was the tiniest infant or one who grew to adulthood and even old age. It is the relationship with your child that forms these powerful emotions.”

ISBN10: 1-56123-052-9 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-052-5

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by International Bestselling Author Lynda Cheldelin Fell, with Annah Elizabeth, Deana L. Martin, Erica Gale Beltz and Marilyn Rollins

When we lose a child, life as we know it ends and a new one begins. We find ourselves embarking on a journey through a dark, maze-like abyss without a compass or light. But the truth is, you aren’t alone in the dark, for there are many of us. In Grief Diaries: Loss of a Child, we share your journey. We understand the painful holidays, the shifted friendships, and the overwhelming emotions that threaten to engulf us in the grocery store. This book is like your own portable support group, open 24/7. Grief Diaries: Loss of a Child is a deeply intimate collection of stories by parents around the world who have all walked in your shoes. Consider this book one of your bereavement tools, and pull it out whenever you need. For no matter the age, the circumstance, or number of days since your beloved child’s passing, the stories contained within this book offer company, comfort and hope, and are a treasured reminder that none of us walk this journey alone.

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By Kelly Farley with David DiCola

A collection of candid stories from grieving dads that were interviewed over a two year period. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad, “this terrible, terrible club,” which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale. They are real stories that pull no punches and are told with brutal honesty. Men that have shared their deepest and darkest moments. Moments that included thoughts of suicide, self-medication and homelessness. Some of these men have found their way back from the brink while others are still standing there, stuck in their pain. The core message of Grieving Dads is “you’re not alone.” It is a message that desperately needs to be delivered to grieving dads who often grieve in silence due to society’s expectations. As any grieving parent will tell you, there are no words to describe the hell one experiences after the death of a child. Many men have no clue how to deal with or understand the myriad emotional, mental, and physical responses experienced after the death of a child. Stories appearing in the book have been carefully selected to represent a cross-section of fathers, as well as a diverse portrayal of loss. This approach helps reflect the full spectrum of grief, from the early days of shock and trauma to the long view after living with loss for many years. Any bereaved father will find brotherhood in these pages, and will feel that someone understands them. While there is plenty of raw emotion in this book—the stories are not exercises in self-pity nor are they studies in grief. They are survival stories instead. Some are testimonies to hope. Some are gut-wrenching accounts of overwhelming despair. But all of them are real-life stories from real-life grieving dads, and they show that even if one reaches his physical and emotional bottom, it is possible (although not easy) to live through that pain and find one’s way to the other side of grief. Most dads in this book found themselves in a state of physical, mental, and emotional collapse after the death of their child. As if the losses alone weren’t enough to drive these men to the brink, most try to deal with their grief according to the conventional wisdom so many men are brought up with, which perversely, increases their suffering all the more. We all know the party line about how men are “supposed” to deal with loss or even disappointment: toughen up, get back to work, take it like a man, support your wife, don’t talk about your emotions, don’t lose control, and if you must cry—by all means do so in private.

ISBN10: 0-985205-18-0 ISBN13: 978-0-985205-18-8

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By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

The unthinkable has happened: your child has died.  The normal circle of life has been broken and you have outlived your child.  How do you go on?  What can you do with your pain?  Where do you turn?  What do other grieving parents do not only survive, but over time and with the support of others, to live and love fully again? This book offers 100 practical ideas that have helped other grieving parents understand and reconcile their grief.  Common challenges for grieving parents, such as dealing with marital stress, helping surviving siblings, dealing with hurtful advice and exploring feelings of guilt, are also addressed.  Whether your child was young or an adult, whether your loss was recent or many years ago, this compassionate and easy-to-use resource will be a source of comfort and healing. From the Foreword by Andrea Gambill, Editor of Bereavement magazine: “Access to this kind of help when my daughter died would have made a major difference in my grief.  I would have draped this gem over a silken cord and worn it around my neck 24 hours a day.  I recommend one for your bedside table, one for your car, one for your desk and one for everyone who cares about you.”

ISBN10: 1-879651-30-0 ISBN13: 978-1-879651-30-2

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Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died?

By Bill & Judy Guggenheim

Is there life after death? Will we be reunited with our deceased loved ones when we die? Can they communicate with us now?   Hello From Heaven! is the first complete study of an exciting new field of research called After-Death Communication, or ADC.  This is a spiritual experience that occurs when a person is contacted directly and spontaneously by a family member or friend who has died.  During their seven years of research, the authors collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts from people who believe they have been contacted by a deceased love one. The 353 ADC accounts in Hello From Heaven! offer: Fascinating modern-day evidence of life after death, Comfort and emotional support for those who are bereaved, Hope for those who yearn to be reunited with a loved one who has died, Courage and strength for those who have a life-threatening illness, Inspiration for caregivers to the elderly and the terminally ill, Insight and reassurance for those who are fearful of death, Inner peace for those whose hearts and minds are awaiting this good news. You will treasure these uplifting messages from those who continue to exist in a life beyond physical death.  Their profound communications of love offer comfort, hope, and a spiritual inspiration to all readers.

ISBN10: 0-553-57634-8 ISBN13: 978-0-553-57634-4

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by Paul C. Rosenblatt

Many parents who have experienced the death of a child struggle with painful and at times overwhelming marital problems. Grieving can create great marital distance, and it can magnify those problems that existed before the child’s death. Grieving parents often fear that divorce is a real possibility. This book can help.

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By Coralease Cox Ruff, PhD, RN

A bereaved mother and grief educator, Coralease Cox Ruff skillfully combines her daughter’s biography with a grief book to produce Her Light Still Shines, a beautiful tribute to her daughter and an invaluable guide for bereaved parents. This moving story celebrates the life of Candice M. Ruff who profoundly touched many lives in her short 21 years. Her mother lovingly presents the mirrors that form the kaleidoscope of her life by incorporating Candice’s writings and friends’ reflections with Coralease’s own thoughts. Starting from her early memories of Candice as a child and going through to the devastating accident that took away her daughter too soon, Coralease celebrates Candice’s extraordinary life. This written memorial can serve as a model for other bereaved parents and as a compass that identifies landmarks and coping strategies along a mother’s grief journey. With amazing candor, love, and gentleness, Her Light Still Shines, is a beacon to newly bereaved parents. Learn to keep your child’s memory alive on your journey toward healing and feel the warmth of your child’s shining light forever.

ISBN10: 0-5954-8468-9 ISBN13: 978-0-5954-8468-3

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By Chuck Collins

Holding Onto Love blends an anguished father’s heartfelt experience with advice from respected authors to offer comfort and hope to parents reeling from the death of a child. Chuck Collins’ refreshing, down-to-earth writing style explores the anguish and hopelessness of child loss and exposes the myriad of emotional landmines grieving families face. The author rejects the common belief that bereaved fathers and mothers must “move on” or “get over it” to have normal lives. In contrast, Chuck offers a strategy for survival and healing that recognizes a new sense of normal and renewed purpose in life. A special chapter educates relatives and friends how to reach out to a grief-stricken family, what not to say or do, and includes a checklist of helpful suggestions. Holding Onto Love tackles difficult topics including spousal and sibling grief, returning to work, handling holidays, grieving through investigations, civil or criminal litigation, and shares the author’s attempts for after-death communication. This candid, but gentle account finds hope through the tears and is a must read for grieving families and their loved ones.

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Sandy Fox

New edition – Updated Resources

Twenty-five families open their hearts and share stories of courage, hope and their attempts to make sense out of the most unbearable loss of all.  What did they do to move on with their lives, to make each day meaningful again, to remember their child?  Learn how these parents help others and what advice they have to give bereaved parents and caregivers.

“Whether it is a month or ten years, the pain from the death of a child never goes away.  Nothing reassures more than the compassionate emotions many will be able to relate to in these honest, poignant, inspirational stores.” – Donna McBride, SADD National Director of Field Services

ISBN13: 978-0-595-16118-8

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By Richard Edler

After the unexpected death of his son, Richard’s life seemed to stop. The next few years were spent climbing out of the bottom of a valley he had not known existed before. It is a story about what is important in life, sorrow, faith, acceptance and rebirth. Recommended by TCF.

“When you grieve, you have to walk through the valley.  You cannot camp there.” – Dr. Charles L. Heuser, Pilgrimage In Faith

ISBN10: 0-9652731-8-0 ISBN13: 978-0-9652731-8-3

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By Mitch Carmody

Hardcover with book jacket

Expanded Edition - includes Whispers of Love & The 20 Faces of Grief

Authored by a grieving father whose 9-year-old son died following a two-year battle with a recurring malignant brain tumor. During the months that followed his son’s death, the author wrote letters and poems to him posthumously as a catharsis for his grief. A compelling story of love, loss and recovery that will grab your heart, nourish your soul and open your eyes. A must read for anyone who has experienced a great loss and is trying to find some path out of the darkness of their despair. Beautiful poems and illustrations by the author are woven throughout the text.

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By Dennis L. Apple

Even though years have gone by and life has moved on, Dennis Apple still struggles with living in a world without his son. These pages share a glimpse of the unspeakable pain, helplessness, and frustration parents experience when their child dies. Using excerpts from his journal, Dennis shares his painful yet promising story and offers comfort and connection to those walking similar paths. If you are on the dark and lonely road of grief and loss, Dennis’ gentle words and honest understanding will give you hope and tender guidance for your difficult journey.

“Dennis Apple has done us a huge favor.  He has shown us how to use our pain to help others.  This is a remarkable story.” – Dr Grace H. Ketterman, psychiatrist

“Every so often, a grief survivor writes a book that invites me to rethink what I believe about grief.  This is that book.” – Harold Ivan Smith, grief educator

“Dennis Apple gives us the rare opportunity to express our spiritual woundedness. He invites us to weep, to remember, to feel, and, yes, to heal.  Embrace this book.  Or, better, yet, let the love and hope of this book embrace you.” – Richard B Gilbert, executive director of the World Pastoral Care Center

Author Information: Dennis L Apple has started several support groups and also counsels couples and individuals who are grieving the loss of a loved one.  He serves as staff pastor at College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas.  He and his wife, Beulah, live in Olathe, and have an adult son, Andrew.

ISBN10: 0-8341-2365-7 ISBN13: 978-0-8341-2365-6

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Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter

By Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D.

A poignant and sensitive book that offers bereaved parents the comfort of learning how others have navigated this rutted road.  It is the first book to assess the enduring consequences of loss and the first to shed light on the evolution in values, perceptions, and relationships that follow the death of a child.  With great honesty and empathy, it acknowledges that no family ever “recovers” from this tragedy, but rather adapts to a life irretrievably altered.

“Quite simply the best book I know of to help bereaved parents – clear, compassionate, and absolutely on target.” – Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

“When the Bough Breaks is a sensitive and honest description of the overwhelming journey bereaved families endure as they struggle to adjust to their new lives.  Not only is this one of the best books I’ve ever read for bereaved families, but it also offers some real insights for those who care about bereaved parents and siblings.” – Diana Cunninham, executive director of The Compassionate Friends

ISBN10: 0-8362-5282-9 ISBN13: 978-0-8362-5282-8.

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by M.H. DeMent

A tender-hearted mother writes about the private grief of having an addicted child. Of the twenty “rollercoaster” years, as the sickness of alcoholism overwhelms her storybook family. She writes of the grief of losing a child and her on-going spiritual journey.

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Available November, 2017. Pre-orders accepted.

In The Unspeakable Loss, Nisha Zenoff offers support, guidance and wisdom from others who have experienced the death of a child, as well as her personal story after the death of her beloved 17-year-old son, Victor, and her insight as a grief counselor and psychotherapist.

Charting the long path from the worst possible nightmare, shock, trauma, and overwhelming pain, to a life that once again miraculously contains joy, love, and laughter, The Unspeakable Loss addresses the importance of self-compassion and self-care. Written in a Q & A format, it goes to the heart of grief, answering the urgent questions that accompany loss. “Will my tears ever stop?” “Who am I now without my child?” “How can I help my other children cope?” “ I lost my only child, how do I live?” “Will my marriage survive?” “Will life ever feel worth living again?” The book addresses bereaved family members no matter where they are in their grief process, whether newly bereaved or dealing with a death that occurred many years earlier.

It provides an in-depth perspective on how the death of a child affects siblings, other family members and friends, and offers a unique long-term perspective on grief. While books on grief have sadness at their core, this one contains invaluable hope about surviving and living a purposeful and meaningful life in the aftermath of such heartbreak. The Unspeakable Loss emphasizes love, truth and the often unspoken “signs and signals” from loved ones. It doesn’t flinch from the reality or pain caused by the death of a child, yet ultimately it is a book about the choice to embrace life again.

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also available in English

By Joy and Marv Johnson -- A Centering Corporation Resource

Para padres que están sufriendo la muerte de un hijo Sobrevivir la muerte de un hijo no se realiza de acuerdo a un patrón fijo de emociones.  Los diversos sentimientos y experiencias se asemejan al clima.  Justo cuando crees que la tormenta ha pasado, ésta regresa para afectarte nuevamente.  Algunos padres han descrito la pena como olas.  Cuando menos las esperas, se estrellan contra ti y te revuelcan.  La pena es algo que se convierte en parte de tu vida.  Nunca “la dejas atrás” o “la superas”.  Es parte de ti, tal como tu hijo, siempre será parte de ti y nunca lo olvidarás.

Living after the death of a child is not done according to a fixed pattern of emotions.  The various feelings and experiences are more like changes in weather.  About the time you believe the storm has passed, you find it returning to stir you again.  Some parents have described their grief as coming in waves.  Just when you least expect it, you are struck by the wave and carried along with it.  Grief is something you integrate into your life.  You don’t “get through it” or “get over it.”  You make it a part of you, just as your child will always be a part of you and never forgotten.

ISBN10: 1-56123-040-5 ISBN13: 978-1-56123-040-2

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For healthy and happy 19-year-old Emma, who died in her sleep one summer night, the book Tomorrow Comes answers the unanswerable question,

“What happens when you die?”

Tomorrow Comes is a daring coming-of-age book in which an ordinary teenager must come to terms with her own mortality, the loss of all she once knew, and an other-worldly set of rules. The results are dark and uplifting, heart-breaking and humorous.

Teen ‘comes of age’ after death …

Emma opened her eyes.

She was surrounded by a blaze of color, and she was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace …

It’s never easy being a teenager but, when popular and precocious 19-year old Emma ‘awakens’ to find that everything she knows is somehow different, a whole new set of challenges arises. Finding herself disconnected from the ones she loves, Emma must quickly learn to bridge the gap or lose touch with them forever.

Based on a true story of love and family, grief and joy, Tomorrow Comes is inspired by the sudden and unexpected death of author Donna Mebane’s own daughter. Donna breathes vitality and warmth into Emma’s character, and you’ll find yourself rooting for Emma as she learns to navigate her new world with courage, humor, and an indomitable spirit.

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By Cathy Cheshire. I want to drastically improve how the world typically thinks about anybody suffering after the death of a cherished child. Instead of a trauma they will never get over, they can enrich their life with one of the greatest lessons about love after natural grieving. I had a life filled with heartbreak and then my beloved only child died. I relay with painful honesty how I spiraled into a dark relentless depression and then learned to live again in a powerful way surprising even me.

Product code is THAO

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A bereaved parent, Margot Kenefick Burkle, created this healing journal. A meaningful family keepsake that includes thoughts from mom and dad, sibling, grandparents and pages for special memories

A family treasure

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Restoration After the Death of a Child

By Marie Levine

When Marie and Phil Levine’s 22 year-old son, Peter, their only child, is killed in a car accident just three months after graduating from Syracuse University, they embark on a harrowing journey of grief, despair and hopelessness. In First You Die, Marie describes how their lives are changed during those first harrowing years.  Now, in The Tincture of Time, Marie once again manages to vividly put into words what life has become after close to two decades of life without their beloved child. Just as First You Die is a must-read for those beginning this journey, this collection of essays and reflections is a wonderful beacon of hope for those who must learn how to restore their lives and find peace again after losing a child.  It is also an eye-opening depiction of how the journey continues despite the uninitiated thinking seasoned travelers are “over it.”

ISBN10: 1-45386455-5 ISBN13: 978-1-45386455-5

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By Sandy Goodman

An emotional road map for anyone who knows, or needs to know, what it means to lose someone you love. Although this is the story of a mother dealing with the tragic death of her son, it is for anyone struggling to make their way through the nightmare of losing someone they love. It’s the book you will turn to in the middle of the night when the pain presses in so tightly you can’t breathe. It’s for every time you wonder if there is any way through the grief.  It’s an understanding hand to hold as you look for answers to questions you never expected to ask: What happened to the person I lost?  What happens to that love?  Is there any way to connect with the joy of that relationship again?  After her son’s death, Sandy Goodman groped along in a world for which she was totally unprepared.  But, what this ordinary woman found will astound you.  With complete honesty, warmth and humor, Goodman describes how her seemingly irrational yet relentless desire to maintain communication with her dead son enriched her life and led her to one unwavering conclusion: Death is not an ending.  It is another stage of life and love that is available to anyone willing to experience it.   ”

Sandy Goodman’s journey through loss and renewal means that those faced with similar circumstances and challenges will not need to do it without guidance.  That in itself is a divine gift.” – James Redfield, author of The Celestine Prophecy

“Sandy Goodman poignantly captures the profound journey of a bereaved mother’s heart, from despair to reunion.  Love Never Dies is a must-read for all those who have lost a precious child!” – Judy Guggenheim, co-author of Hello From Heaven!

“Sandy Goodman’s touching account of the untimely death of her son and the journey that followed will light the way for many souls to come.” – Debbie Ford, author of New York Times #1 bestseller The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

ISBN10: 1-58872-015-2 ISBN13: 978-1-58872-015-3

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By Jane Vair Bissler, Ph.D., LPCC, FT and Lisa J. Heiser, M.A., LCPC, NCC

It is written for all those who have ever loved another with the depths of their heart. It describes the continuing connections of such love between those who have passed to the other side and those who have been bereaved. In this book, we describe the ways in which these loving connections support, enable, and empower grief-stricken individuals to regain emotional equilibrium, attain a sense of peace, and acquire new vitality and unexpected joy for living again.

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When A Child Died

by Dr. Margaret Shandor Miles

Revised (2012)

Many facets of parental and sibling grief are discussed in a clear, sensitive manner. Includes the grief response, coping with loss is difficult, recovery is possible, communicating with the spouse, communicating with the children, and fears about going crazy.

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by Juanita White

When your grown child dies you are bereaved, devastated, shocked, numbed and all too often, forgotten. In this sensitive book we explore the many feelings that accompany this great loss. This child may be grown, but this child is still your little girl, your little boy, yours.

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by Mary Jane Cronin

No one should have to experience the death of their own child. Mary Jane Cronin has written not just a fact-filled book about loss and grief , but one that included her personal journey to understand, accept and heal following the 1998 murder of her own son. In this country, over 75,000 children under the age of eighteen die every year. And this fear becomes a reality. November Mourning offers insight and hope as it explores the many emotions parents often feel following the loss of a child. Travel with Mary Jane through denial and anger as her own quest leads her to one day find acceptance and comfort. Learn about the stages of grief and techniques to help move through them easier. Discover what other parents have said and done to help reduce their own suffering. Recognize the physical and emotional symptoms of grief. See how people can help or hinder your healing. Research has shown it does not matter whether their child was a newborn or an adult, the natural order of life these parents have come to trust, and their very existence and purpose are forever changed. November Mourning addresses the many emotions parents may face in a world they now know holds no promises of safety or longevity.

ISBN: 9780615239781

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By Eric Hipple, Former NFL Quarterback for the Detroit Lions

with Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley

President’s Book Awards Winner

Real Men Do Cry is an incredible story of tragedy and triumph. After his 15-year-old son died of suicide, Eric fell into a debilitating downward spiral. Bankrupt and jailed for drunk driving, he found the strength to seek therapy for his own depression and was able to make an amazing comeback.  With unflinching honesty, Eric shares his journey, thus opening the door for others to realize that depression is treatable. Real Men Do Cry is packed with practical resources for families living with depression and is a valuable tool for counselors and mental health professionals nationwide.  Resources include: Nine-symptom checklist for depression, Signs of depression and possible suicide risk, actions to avert depression. Eric works with the University of Michigan Depression Center as outreach coordinator, where he travels nationwide speaking to teens and adults about ways to recognize the signs of depression and risks for potential suicide. “For so long I had been subconsciously creating problems, major and minor, to distract myself from the central fact that my 15-year-old son Jeff was dead.  I somehow feel that if I can save just one life, then Jeff’s death was not in vain.”

ISBN10: 0-9816219-2-9 ISBN13:978-0-9816219-2-0

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A Grieving Father’s Journey to Wholeness and Healing by R. Glenn Kelly. As a grieving father, R. Glenn Kelly exposes the inner thoughts of a man who has lost the most precious of gifts; his child. Written with the powerful and honest emotion that only someone who has walked in his shoes can truly understand, R. Glenn provides encouragement, insight, and hope to men who are “in the club no one wants to belong to.” He allows us to walk with him on his path from hidden despair to emerging hope as he discovers his way towards living a life that is fulfilling and honoring to the legacy left behind by his son. Although intended for grieving fathers, Sometimes I Cry in the Shower benefits anyone who has lost a loved one, or loves someone who has. With compassion, humor, and sincerity, Mr. Kelly shows us that love never dies and hope is truly eternal.

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by Adina Wrobleski. Goes into detail about victimization, social stigma, guilt, anger, history and recovery. The main thing for you to remember is: You are not to blame for the death of your child. The decision for death has to belong to your child, not you.

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By Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

This is the classic book for parents whose child has died–and for all who want to help them.  Many such parents feel that no one can help because no one can understand the complex ramifications of their tragedy: the exhaustion, the quarrels with mates, the sleeplessness, the panic, the inertia, the horror of laughter–all the seemingly endless aftermath of sorrow and despair.  Yet, because she herself is a bereaved mother, Harriet Sarnoff Schiff is able to give genuine comfort.  If you have a lost child, you know that pain is like yours cannot be erased, and Schiff does not attempt to do so.  Instead, she offers guide-lines and practical step-by-step suggestions to help you cope with every stage of grief, from facing the funeral to rebuilding your marriage.  Her book will convince you that you, too, can find your way back to the land of the living.

“The Bereaved Parent is a beautiful book.  It speaks to all those who have lived through the experience of the death of a child.  It does not make death beautiful, it does not console in an unrealistic way – but it tells the truth – and is very reassuring and helpful because of it.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.

“A practical, reassuring book on how to cope with the death of a child and how to go about rebuilding the lives of the survivors.” – Newsweek

ISBN10: 0-14-005043-4 ISBN13: 978-0-14-005043-1

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by Elaine E. Stillwell

Bereaved parents know the excruciating pain of losing a child. Elaine, mother of two children killed in a car accident, offers this collection of life-giving lessons gathered over years of experience as a grief minister. Includes creating a new normal, bearing the soul, seasons and more. From the Book: “As you turn the pages, notice that chapter titles and sub-headings begin with active words, because grief work demands action in order for us to grow fully into the new person we become. May you discover new rays of light to illuminate your journey as a parent who has lost your beloved child, and may your heart gently open to the joys of life again.”

ISBN13: 978-0-87946-260-4

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Beloved singer-songwriter Judy Collins draws on her personal experience with her son’s suicide to guide readers through grieving the loss of a loved one who has died under tragic circumstances. Drawing on her own experience of losing her son to suicide, as well as her conversations with hundreds of people who have grieved the tragic death of a friend or family member, revered singer-songwriter Judy Collins has culled together seven powerful steps toward healing.

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For Fathers Who Have Experienced the Death of a Child

Gives permission to feel and cry.

4-page handout

also available in Spanish

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An 8-page handout for grandparents wanting to help their children while grieving themselves. Talks about grief, what you can do to help and holidays.

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Spanish version of Being With Parents After Their Child or Baby Dies

Practical, caring tips for friends, family and caregivers

4-page handout

also available in English

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Spanish version of Fathers Grieve Too

Para Los Padres Que Han Experimentado la Muerte de Un Hijo

Gives permission to feel and cry

4-page handout

also available in English

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